2014

Happy New Year to me only...it is not selfishness but rather u can say if nobody cares for me I dont mind not to care for the whole world......fuck lonliness

Status

I need to reboost my energy and come back to life.

Feel it, a new way for blogging, at least for me.

جريدة الأهرام : 14 يونيو 2012

هوامش حرة
الحب بين العقل والجنون
بقلم: فاروق جويدة

في شبابنا يمكن أن نحب بجنون‏..‏ وعندما تتقدم سنوات العمر وتبدو أطلال الخريف نعرف الحب العاقل‏..‏ والفرق بين جنون الحب والحب العاقل هو الفرق بين إنسان ربما لا يعرف السباحة ويلقي بنفسه في البحر دون أن يخاف الأمواج‏..‏

 أما الحب العاقل فتسبقه الحسابات والظروف والمتغيرات.. والحب العاقل ستار نخفي فيه عدم القدرة علي المغامرة.. يختار الإنسان شاطئا هادئا مريحا ويلقي علي الرمال متاعب رحلته.. وهنا يمكن أن يستعيد, وهو يشاهد الأمواج من بعيد, جنونه القديم ويتذكر هذا القلب العابث المغامر يصارع الأمواج ولا يرضي أن يقضي وقته فوق الرمال في الحب العاقل, نحلم فقط بما نستطيع.. وفي الحب المجنون لا حدود لأحلامنا وفي أحيان كثيرة تنقلب حياة الإنسان, وهو يصارع سنوات الخريف, ويتصور أن الجنون يعيد له شيئا من شبابه ويلقي بنفسه في الأمواج وهو لا يعلم ان الإرادة لا تعني دائما القدرة وأن الرغبة في السباحة لا تعني ان الإنسان قادر علي أن يرجع عقارب الزمن للوراء.. في الحب العاقل يكتفي الإنسان بالأشياء الصغيرة.. ربما كلمات قليلة..ربما عتاب رقيق.. ربما سؤال في لحظة احتياج.. وحين تهدأ الأمواج وتسكن الشواطئ يجلس الإنسان مع نفسه ويشاهد البوم حياته ويتذكر لحظات حبه العاصف وكيف كان الكون, كل الكون, بين يديه.. يتذكر وجوها غابت.. وكلمات رحلت واماكن سكنتها الأشباح ويحاول ان يسترجع من الأمس شيئا فلا يجد غير كلمات عتاب.. لا تحرم نفسك من لحظة حب مجنون فسوف تندم عليها كثيرا حينما تجلس علي شاطئ الغروب.. وحتي لاتشعر بالأسي وانت تشاهد من بعيد مواكب العشاق حولك من كل لون وعمر وتتمني لو انك غامرت يوما وأشبعت جنونك ونزلت تصارع الأمواج.. أجمل مافي الحب المجنون انه بلا حسابات.. واقسي ما في الحب العاقل أن احلامه قليلة.. وما بين عمر بلا حساب وحب بلا أحلام تمضي بنا رحلة العمر فوق الأمواج حينا وفوق الرمال في أغلب الأحيان.

Dedication

1- Woman One: Sorry, I did my best to make it work out, but simply there is no chemistry even u r a very good girl

2- Woman Two: It was supposed to be friendly , but wanna thank you big time to drive me to no. 3 who made me  feel alive again

3- Woman Three: You really made me believe in my feelings again, inspired me and insist to keep following my sense

A Short Story that I liked

We met in kindergarten. We were best friends. She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why. I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it. She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny. We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper, "I like your eyes."
One day, I was playing basketball, waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me.

Suddenly, I got a phone call. It was her mom. She was in a panic. I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!" I had no clue what happened, so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on. I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere. Then I saw her, Kelsey. My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her. "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying. I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it. Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away, the main source of blood coming from her head. I went to the hospital that night, I went every night. in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it. The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused. It was all my fault. If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her, she wouldn't be going through this. It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up. On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open. "Kelsey?" I called. She wasn't quite awake yet. Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside. I did, for a few hours. One of the doctors finally came out saying, "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?" "Yes," I whispered He bit his lip. "She woke up, she's fine, but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss." "Are you serious?" I almost shouted. "I'm afraid so." I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't. I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again. "You can go see her if you want, but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom." I walked in, trembling in horror. I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept. I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again. I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out. Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered, "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."

فى مثل هذا اليوم 18 يناير برده

جددت البلوج و دهانتوا ألوان منعنشه و غيرت السايد بارز و غيرت الأرضيات و السيراميك و الفوترز و نزلت بورق الحيطه و بقه كامل من كافه شئ. عشان ميقولش بس إنى مقصر فى حقه. ما فضلش كده غير حاجه واحده بس.....إنت عارف و أنا عارف يا واطى.

تشييرز